Temporary lost of my mind

Today I searched for you and saw you were online. I opened the chat box, begin to type Hello and logged out before entering. How could I be so bold, so brave as to imed you and speak. I think I had a temporary lost of my mind. So earlier tonight, after I saw you had logged off. I went to orientation island, grabbed a newbie, gave him instructions on how to copy and paste and search and send. Finally 45 minutes, 100 lindens and a headache later he had send you a note with the link to my blog. (takes a deep breath). I can't believe now that I did that, can't believe that you may even read this. Can't believe how crazy I must of been to even attempt any kind of contact. This is a fantasy, a want that I will never have, a dream that I can only live while sleep. Not even in a world like sl could I think you would look at me twice. Now I feel a little bad for the newbie. I hope you don't question him too much, he really doesn't know anything (trust me it took me 45 minutes to get him to send it). I also came in as a newbie to approach him and coach him. I don't plan on keeping this alt, only made her to do my dirty little deed. Dirty isn't the word I should choose here. it's just doing something in secret always seems to be something bad even if its not a bad intent or dirty. I know this is asking a lot of you, but can you, some how on your profile at least let me know you have read this. Something pg please, lol.

Can I be the one

I read your profile today, it changes so often that I find myself reading it daily now. For a brief moment it seemed you had found the person you most wanted to share in your second life. I saw photos of your ex and you, you lifting her up as if to put her on a throne beside you. Then today all that was but a memory. Was I happy you no longer had her on your profile..... honest answer, YES!! My heart was glad, but then I thought what if you weren't happy about it. What if this was not a mutual choice of you both. Then I realize how selfish I was being. I still don't know what you like in a woman. I know what you have said in your profile. But I wonder beyond what you speak of clearly on your profile is what you truly want. I think to myself now, could I be the one who could change your being a single male on sl. Can I be the one???

Caught off guard

A few days ago while shopping I innocently ran across your ex's store (Sondra) at the Vitamin C sim. I say innocently because it wasn't planned. I am starting to make clothing myself and was looking for a place to put my designs. I am an amatuer by every standards but I am at least trying. I looked around her store and found a cute "Hello Kitty" short set that I wanted to buy. I admit I am a big fan of hello kitty, the cat with no mouth but is just as well known as Elvis. I wanted to buy it until she, Sondra, walked in the store and greeted me and the four others who were there shopping. My mind went blank, I thought about tping out, or just running out. But I was curious, I stayed still hoping I was not being paid too much attention too. I had never seen her before in person, only in your profile. Her avie is pretty, she was dress nice too, she seem very friendly but I had a feeling she could be anything but if crossed. She spoke to me by name, asking if I needed any help. I know she doesn't know me but just the idea I drew some sort of attention made me not get the Hello Kitty short set. I was glad when another one of her customers begin asking about some items she was working on. I was able to take that moment to walk out the door, but not before you thank me for coming to her store. I felt like a child that was up to doing something bad and before I did it I was caught.

You give me butterflies

Today I saw you again, all I can say is WOW. You looked so sexy in your jeans and wife-beater. I just don't know how you do it, you have kept my attention for over a year now. You give me butterflies like no one else has or probably will ever again. It's something about you that drives me crazy. Each person that is behind the avie gives the avie life. The life you give your avie has taken me off guard and made m want you. I only started doing this blog thing because my best friend told me it would release some of the stress. All I can say is BS! it doesn't release any stress, doesn't make it easier and damn sure doesn't make having this crush more bearable. But I will admit it does allow me to go back and read the things I wrote about how I felt. I wish now I would of started this when I first begin my crush. I have another blog as well that I talk about my second life and my clothing line. Only few people read this one, my sl best friend, my real life best friend and my sister who thinks I am crazy but gives me support in my sanity. I can see why they think I am crazy, I get butterflies from someone I don't even really know. Could it be virtual love at first site? No matter what you call it, you have my attention papi.

the very first time

I can't believe I am here in front of my computer on my keyboard about to tell MY biggest second life secret. But I am. I guess you can say I have had a crush on you Swan Desantis for a year now. I know it may sound crazy, strange, wild even ridiculous but I am your secret admirer. No you don't know me, I have manage to maintain a low profile in second life. I even maintain an even lower one around you. I have no boy friend, only one person I consider friend and I stay to myself. I have had this "feeling' for you since I first saw you over a year ago. The first time I saw you, you were with your brother. The two of you were at a photography shop. Your brother was going over how the owner wanted her shop to be done. You seem new, like I was and you were looking around making remarks about the photos she had placed so carefully on the wall. I remember you typing something in Spanish and you and your brother both laughing. The remark was silly, I don't even remember what it was. All I know is at the moment I thought you were interesting. That was my first time seeing you, but fortunate of me it would not be my last.

My second life has always been very low key. I made an alt in order to go to clubs in game an other risque places to shop. Now I don't want you to get the wrong impression, I had my alt because my real life husband (now ex husband) would come on my avie to see what I wore. He would watch what I would buy, where I would go and he would get crazy if my avie wore something too sexy. (something too sexy could of been a part of shorts with a top to show my navel ring. He was for lack of a better word, crazy. So with him being so anal and me wanting to actual enjoy my game time I made an alt. My alt was able to look and dress sexy. She could show some cleavage, her thighs, her butt. I could actually have full lips as I do in real life. Shapely, sexy, you know the type, typical girl next door type. lol. I would go to Club Insatiable under my alt to enjoy the music and occasionally dance. The first time I saw you at the club I remembered you very quickly. . When I saw you I thought wow, he really has an attractive avie. You would be at club, cigarette in mouth, your body movements changing from time to time but never dancing. You would just stand close to the wall as if you were making sure everything was everything. I never seen you all over women, never talking loud, you wore a gun (as you still do *smiles*) but it was not shown to others it was not meant too. You never dress like an Internet thug, always looking sexy and nice. You never blinged out like most guys would to the point if lighting hit the club they would be struck down. Always quiet, always maintaining a sex appeal and a persona all your own. You were getting me hooked with each glance I made your way. I use to think you were with the owner of the club, "Samore". I realize the two of you were only friends when I saw her with other relationships. I have only seen two females who you said were your girls and this has been all within a months time. Makes me wonder what are you looking for. For a moment my heart was broken when I thought you married "Donatella" I realize she was a very close friend and you two just like to play around and joke about her being your wife.

One day you actually spoke to me, lol, OK you didn't actual speak, you landed on my head while at the club. You imed me to apologize for doing so. My heart almost came out of my chest. I thought to myself, "he is a gentlemen too. he is actually iming me to apologize for landing on me". You have always seem too perfect, sexy, mysteries, smooth. With each day that has pass by, I have wanted you. have thought about you, have found my interest growing, each day I .. hmmmm .....

I know, I am just a woman who has admired you for some time now and finally got up enough nerve to at least let it be known if not in but in a blog. You will never read this or even know it exist but I will and I guess that is all that matters.